In which things get all Austen up in here.

No, this isn't Katie, nor is it Packerboy. (To the latter: Katie asked me to post this because she felt that you wouldn't enjoy transcribing it for her; something about it being too girly for your tastes.)

This is elliespen, stopping in with news from our dear Siostra Young. She sent me a letter today for the Just Jane crowd, and wanted to make sure that it was shared with her other friends from grad school and suchnot as well. So without further ado, I give you her letter:

Dearest Janeites,

I have pressing news that simply must be shared with those who will appreciate it without the slightest delay. Before I recount the events at hand, let me preface my account by informing you that nothing indecorous, improper, or unbefitting one of my position or calling has occurred. I'm sure that such a preface will lead you to conclude that the story I must relate concerns one of the gruffer sex, in which assumption you find yourself to be entirely correct. There is an elder going to the Slovakian half of the Czech Republic mission who is (drumroll, please) Mr. Darcy incarnate. Proud, dark features. Nice broad shoulders. An expensive wardrobe befitting a position similar to Mr. Darcy's. Above all else (because we all know good-looking (for a son of God who is set apart to preach the Gospel and bring others to Christ (Guileless has a letter to share if that last sentence made you roll your eyes)) is not enough for one to earn the sobriquet "Elder Darcy"), Elder Darcy's manner and demeanor is a precise match for the classic Austenian hero. He's incredibly quiet, stiff and proud (though not haughty), and one never knows if one's behavior/person is being admired or judged (especially if one happens to have things like "fine eyes," "a quick wit," a family trait of dearly loving laughter, and the (middle) name of "Elizabeth"). The Slovakian classroom happens to be directly adjacent to the uni-stall (not unisex) girls' (sisters'?) bathroom on our floor, so I see Elder Darcy a lot (and no one even has to improprietously demand a ball or fall sick after being made to ride a horse through the rain to honor an invitation to dinner). There have been many opportunities to talk with (and be judged by) Elder Darcy (and no, I'm not living the dream—Miss Eliza Bennet is nuts!). I have been wondering exactly when I would share this with you, my fellow Janeites and dear friends, and today's events have put that question to rest.

You see, here at the MTC, a lot of people are REALLY into fitness (not eating well or eating real food, but fitness, yes)and in lieu of our regularly scheduled gym time, we can attend P-90X classes. Today my fitness-crazed roommates (i.e., companions) who work out as much as they possibly can dragged me to the P-90X class-of-Ab-death (dear 7th grade gym class, I would like to keep the memory of shoot-the-cannons (aka up-downs) firmly associated with you). Despite the deep-seated anti-gym nerviness that lies within my soul, I would not trade this experience for the world, for amongst 5 companionships of awesome sisters we found Elder Darcy with companion in tow.

Now, just imagine Mr. Darcy with his proud brow, stiff upper lip and indiscernible expression wearing a black t-shirt, blue basketball shorts, and dark Nikes. Now imagine him working out: there was usually a grace and competence to his movement befitting the character he personified (and the fond dreams of countless Firth and Macfadyen fans), but there were also moments befitting the less-than-perfect aspects of his character: for example, Elder Darcy's high knees were militaristic enough to make Kitty and Lydia swoon and drop handkerchiefs despite the obvious lack of military commission or uniform. Also Elder Darcy's proudest moment during the P-90X workout (according to Siostra Young) was the firm, dignified, and downright statuesque manner in which he stretched his quadriceps. Only an Elder Darcy could look so firm, so dignified in gym shorts while attempting to prevent soreness of the quad. It was so perfect that it had to be shared.

In short, replacing music, books, and movies in my life is the tale of Elder Darcy Works Out. I love and miss all of you and hope you enjoy the metaphor that I drew from Austen.

With love,

Siostra Young.

P.S. The other day, I went to get ice cream, and found them putting things away and I thought: "Tell me not that I am too late!" Unlike Wentworth, I was. Alas.

You're a Missionary Katie

Over the course of Katie's mission to Poland for the LDS Church, I, Packerboy, her best brother besides Pence, will be posting blogs written by none other than Siostra Katie Young herself. When moved upon by the Spirit I will add additional commentary of which Siostra Young knows nothing about. I am expecting her blog to be taken to a whole new level as a result.

The following post was written a week ago in the hallowed halls of the Provo MTC. I didn't go on a mission so I don't really have a visual approximation of the inside. In my mind the MTC is just like Hogwarts but instead of being governed by magic it is controlled by the Spirit of God. I can just see Siostra Young sitting in the dining hall telling all who care to listen about how the expansive room is lit by pillars of fire controlled by the MTC President. She of course read about it in The MTC: A History. Maybe there is even a ginger kid rolling his eyes at the pedantic sister missionary with the Nancy Grace haircut. Of course he is harboring a little crush. We can only hope.

In the post below, Siostra Young takes us right into her life as a newbie missionary. She arrived on January 11 and got right to learning how to be a missionary. She is learning Polish, which is tough. She is also learning how to live without music, TV, and gummi bears, which is tougher. Read her inspiring message below.

Which one looks more magical? I think it's pretty obvious.

Hello Everyone,

So, today in the MTC, we had our third discussion with "Krzysztof," & my my attitude towards misssionary work changed. Because of my attempts to CONVERT EVERYONE when I showed up in KCMO, I've been incredibly leery of what I saw as pushing my testimony on people. However, God had helped me see and understand that there is a difference between trying to logically convince someone that the Gospel's true and missionary work.

Last night I decided to start studying 'desire' and conversion stories in the BoM. I repented and asked that I might be able to work on whatever God wanted me to work on during the mission.

Yesterday, I worked really hard and was very serious (and pushed back against one of my companion's ideas a little bit, as needed). I really thought about repentance and desire, especially the desires for my mission. I read in Enos and thought about what an investigator would need to feel in order to join the church (they keep asking us to think about that).

During class, I expressed concerns about having enough time to ponder what an investigator will need to be taught, etc. Also, our teacher encouraged us to ask our investigator if he would agree to be baptized if he found our teachings to be true. I was skeptical about this because of my background in KC and because Poland is 98% Catholic and to be Polish is to be Catholic. A lot of people will not join the Church just because they are Catholic Poles. Also, our second lesson hadn't gone quiet as well as the first.

So, during personal study, I read Enos and saw his desire for "the welfare of his brethren and the welfare fo the Lamanites. This seems like the perfect desire for my mission.

My companions and I had talked about teaching the Plan of Salvation. They wanted to divide the lesson right then, but I couldn't because I hadn't yet read. So I brought Preach My Gospel to the gym and read and walk (much to several elder's audible awe and wonder).

After I finished the chapter, my companions and I decided to focus on answering the questions: Where did I come from? Why am I here? and Where am I going? with a "how do I get there" focus. This became a very short lesson (in Polish) on the Atonement and repentance.

Tune in next week to find out what happened during this special discussion with our fake investigator who may or may not be my teacher.

In the meantime you can send Siostra Young:

A pair of yoga pants

A hobo style purse that will fit scriptures and a journal

V-neck men's undershirts in Med. or Sm.

Letters

A pear

Gummi bears

Juicy Juice juice boxes in fruit punch

Love you!

Sister Young

Well, that was just amazing right? I actually graded it and sent some comments back to her. I gave the post a B- overall. Hopefully she does better in the future. Make sure to check on here every so often for updates on the wonderful Siostra Young.

What Actually Happened

This is one of those "It actually happened in my Life Posts." Namely, the Big Headed Kid became Elder Young. Spencer's been talking about and preparing for his mission for at least 18 months now. Every time he's been frustrated with his life he's said, "I just want to be on mission, so that I can move forward with my life." Last Wednesday, it finally happened for him, and I have proof thanks to a photo shoot in front of the Provo Temple, a block North of the MTC:Spencer is wearing a navy blue suit courtesy of Adrian's (St. George) and his favorite older sister (I pay him to say that).
As you can see, his suit makes him feel really cool (way cooler than that other missionary in the background).
But really, Elder Young is kind of a nerd.

But we love him, and we're proud of him. I feel really blessed to have been able to share in Pence's mission prep. He's a good kid with a good heart, and I know that he'll work hard and be awesome. Special thanks to The Advocate and the Archaeologist for lodging him during his pre-MTC visit to Provo and to Genial for being willing to take him to the MTC (despite his sister being 'straight crazy').

Elder Young will be serving in the Florida Tallahassee mission after about 2 more weeks in the MTC (lucky). I miss him already, and I do not know what to write him . . . I got my Catwoman stationary out, but all I can think of is "you have way better music on your ipod than I thought you did." "I suck at angry birds." "Kick ass!", etc. Let's see if I can come up with something more appropriate and supportive to say. Maybe if I wrote him on a Sunday . . .

(Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah for Israel!)

It Has Begun

Siostra Young's wardrobe is beginning to take shape, and I must say I'm pretty pleased with the first two pieces. I never thought I'd actually be able to find a trench with a removable liner, but Mr. Calvin Klein decided to hook me up with this:

I also had concerns about finding a coat that would be warm enough, long enough, big enough, and beautiful enough to be The Garment I would be wearing for a good chunk of my mission. And then I found this pretty little thing:

I think it almost compensates for the fact that I couldn't buy cowboy boots the other day. Poland here I come! (except I should probably grade first . . . and stuff . . .)

Did I Mention that I Grew Up in Santaquin?

So, I got my mission call to Poland(!!!). It's cold there, so my mom told me to look at Cabela's for "Long Underwear to wear over [my] garments." And I found a brand new Prettiest of Pretties! Behold, my heritage
The last time I owned boots I was 10, they were pink, and everyone else in my class had owned them for years.

Now I want these turquoise ones or maybe these:



Plus also, embroidery!

Unfortunately my clothing budget is allocated for my mission and I don't think cowboy boots are mission-approved.

:.(

But,

But,

But,

They're so pretty!!!

:(

(In other news, I can buy silk thermals. Silk. You can wear silk camping. What?)

Getting Read around the Web

Guys! Guys! I'm totally famous. As a lot of you know, Bitch magazine linked to my review of Sucker Punch, which means that thousands feminists around the country might read a little bit of the in-depth treatise of a second-wave reading I did back in March.

Plus also, the Experimental Section Report I threw together last April when everything felt really August-y got published even though I submitted it late. It's not very good, so don't read it . . . unless you're really interested in my music section of 150.

The point is though, if the professor thing doesn't pan out (more on that later, probably), maybe I can get paid to write for the internets (totally original, practical, high-paying backup plan, I've got going, right? Mine's totally based on the fact that I'm like published and referenced on sites I didn't create . . . not that I got paid for either nod, but . . . maybe someone will volunteer to pay me eventually . . .).

Yay!

On Notice

Dear Katie E.,

Being a curmudgeon may alienate your readers.


Dear Old Navy,

When you advertise that 'Mom' and 'Grandma' can get jeans for $15, I assume that I'm included in that because I could be a mom. Many women my age even have multiple children. Therefore when I go to your website to order the same bootcut jeans I've worn since high school (maybe, I should branch out a little . . .), I expect them to be $15. When I discovered that the only jean 'Mom' or 'Grandma' can buy for $15 is a pair of jeggings, you made my hit list. Bad Old Navy! Bad Store. The least you could have done was made your Mom jean

$15. Then I might have forgiven you for your false advertising.

Sincerely,
Katie E.



Dear Ann Hathaway,

You used to be charming

 Even when you were pretty

Then I put up with your Sassy, Flirty Jane

(So inappropriate! And you the daughter of a clergyman.)

Probably because I hadn't read any Austen when I saw this. If that were not the case, I probably would have put you on notice then. Little did I know that you would be in Oscar-Award winning movies and be nominated for an Oscar yourself. I think these Oscar-affiliations may be the cause of the "Oscar Hosting" you did last year with James Franco (don't even get me started). Oh the Gaffes! You wanted to be funny so, so badly! I'm sorry, but you were just awkward. I pitied you then and liked you a little bit. Then you somehow managed to network your way into the role of "Selina Kyle/Catwoman." Now, that I've seen Get Smart and, more importantly, this

You are officially on notice. Please be less opportunistic. My hopes of getting this

as my Catwoman are crushed. I almost kind of wish that they'd continued with their adaptation of Year One and made you the matron of a cathouse

Ann, please, do something awesome while I'm on my mission. Any more shennanigans, and I may have to disassociate myself with you entirely.


Dear Bureaucrats Who Are Slowing Up My Life,

Stop it.

(This includes my landlord who still hasn't confirmed our housing and my dear, sweet bishop who is apparently rather busy, much to the detriment of my mission papers (in all fairness he's had 2.5 weeks and I took 3 months . . .). These bureaucrats do not include the people who finally assigned me an office today. To you I say: thank you!)



Dear Hair Trends,

Just when I was going to get a pixie, everybody and their mom got one. Therefor, you're on notice too. You may get off notice by providing me with a feasible alternative that I love. This

does not count. Because I work at BYU. Sigh. But this

just save your bacon (Mmmmmm . . . Bacon . . .). (And Hayden, by the way, I still like you because of Heroes. I even sometimes watch your Neutrogena commercials. Can you be Catwoman? I think you might do a slightly better job.)

Dear Everyone and Everything Else in My Life,

You frickin' rock!

Love,
Katie E.