Getting Ahead of Myself in Order to Heal, Deal, and Get on with the Whole Moving Forward Thing

So, schedules and discipline and hard work are all good ways to get out of a funk, but I've discovered that what I need is to lick my wounds, heal, and remember that I am a scholar. To that end, I've devised a reading list that pulls almost exclusively from the seminars I took from committee members (and features no classicism, which will shortly be reflected in my program of study). This was a great step towards remembering my scholarly identity, which, guess what?, I've worked really hard to develop over the past two years.

I also jumped the gun and started creating some of the documents that come into being when one is ready to defend one's thesis. I am not ready to defend my thesis, but in order to get there, I need to remind myself that I will get there. I need to have real hope and faith in the future. To that end, I give you [drumroll, please] the title page of my thesis:

More than "Wisteria and Sunshine": The Garden as a Space of Female Introspection and Identity in Elizabeth von Arnim's The Enchanted April and Vera





Katie Elizabeth Young




A thesis submitted to the faculty of
Brigham Young University
in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of

Master of Arts




C. Jay Fox, Chair
Jamie Horrocks
Leslee Thorne-Murphy




Department of English

Brigham Young University

June 2011

I'n't pretty? It's my title, my name, my committee, my degree; in essence, it's my scholarly identity and the reminder that I am a scholar (and maybe even a Scholar), a reminder that I desperately need right now. I'm getting there—through the backdoor, but I'm getting there nonetheless. I will defend. I will finish writing. I will be pleased with both endeavors. Then, I will go on a mission. Then there will be a PhD and a professorship and maybe even a family. There is hope smiling brightly before me; I'm endeavoring to return that smile, and it's getting ever easier. Here's hoping that I continue on this path.