I'm BACK! And Some News and Like Books and Stuff

Okay, so I've seen success with my plans. I started my mission papers (and haven't looked at them for weeks). I haven't worked out or been to the temple (not once). I've watched a TON of TV: Parks and Rec, Justified, and season finales, oh my! I've continued to go to bed too late and wake up too late, but I'm beginning to get back to a more reasonable schedule. (Goodbye, 4 a.m.; you're too crazy to be my friend.)

I've also done this crazy impossible thing called scheduled my thesis defense (WHAT?!). It's true. I finished revising my thesis to incorporate my readers' suggestions and sent it in to Dr. Fox about a week and a half ago. Within five days, my defense was scheduled for June 8 from 9-11 in the morning (which is going to be a challenge). So now I have less than two weeks to prepare. I've settled on a reading list, and I'm theoretically studying. I need to read and re-read a ton of things, including some lit and theory from my classes, my thesis, and the sources that make up the argument upon which my thesis stands. I should probably be doing that right now.

The biggest part of me is in denial about the whole thing actually happening. It will be over so soon. I'm ready (?), and I'm nervous. Whenever Dr. Fox, Jamie, and Leslee ask me questions about my thesis, I've either spoken in generalities or said, "Let me look at that and get back to you." I really need to brush up on all sorts of things, but at the same time, I have a clear argument in the thesis and a clear emphasis in the program. I should be fine. My committee is really nice, and I've always been good at talking about literature and commenting in class, etc. If I prepare, I will not fail. (i.e. Pray for me!)

So that's definitely looming, but I can see beyond the defense. It looks a little bit like this:

A lot of it is a black hole of nothingness, but there are some things that will definitely be filling it.

First, I will be working hard on the mission papers. I'll even contact financial aid and the dentist and the health center. Then I'll actually be able to turn in my mission papers and become a missionary. And shop for missionary clothes! I really miss wearing blazers (because I'm a weirdy), and I'm exited about the prospect of pretty clothes and new shoes and new scriptures and stuff. I better not be called to a mission that still makes the sisters wear pantyhose! I would also prefer a temperate zone or colder. Of course, God's got somewhere in mind already, so all of these preferences mean next to nothing, but there they are, all set up for the a delightful contrast when I get called to like Tahiti or something.

Second, I probably need a job. I really need to stop spending so much time on the couch, and having a source of income is preferable to the alternative. I've been contacted by a company I used to freelance for, but I would like something more consistent. I might need to hit the pavement again. I really need to not go back to WSP, but that might happen if I get desperate and they feel like they can pay me. Let's hope I can find something solid; it should be short term, so it doesn't really matter what it is. I just want it to use my skills. I have a master's, let the position (if not the income) reflect such degree and experience. Please!

Third, I will spending time with novels written by British women in the 1920s and 1930s in the hopes of developing a dissertation topic because then I can based the rest of my life on this field! I recently read (and would highly recommend) Dodie Smith's I Capture the Castle, and I loved it so much that I need to discover what else is out there. I love the interwar period and very little has been done on the women novelists of this time. Enter Katie E. Young, Scholar Extraordinaire (as long as she's working with the obscure).

I'm going to start with Winifred Holtby's South Riding,

which was recently adapted as a BBC miniseries.

Based on my research, this adaptation needs to be about twice as long in order to treat everything well (I was less than pleased with it). I have high hopes about the novel. It's about 550 pages and is a traditional social problem novel, which sounds promising for a literary critic (unless the writing's bad . . . everybody cross your fingers!). It doesn't look like much has been done on Holtby, so (as long as everyone keeps their hands off her for the next several years) I'm in the clear for a dissertation project.

In addition to South Riding, I want to read some Rebecca West, Katherine Mansfield, Vera Brittain, Djuna Barnes, and May Sinclair. I also want to read H.D.'s novels, Vita Sackville-West's novels, Radclyffe Hall's The Well of Loneliness, and Jean Rhys's Wide Sargasso Sea. Plus also, I'll be reading as many Persephone Books as possible, starting with Julia Stratchey's Cheerful Weather for the Wedding.

So, yeah, it looks like I'm enrolling myself in a seminar on Women's literature in the 1920s and 1930s. I used to despair at the thought that eventually there would be no more literature classes to take, but now I have the chance to design my own reading lists and develop a true and thorough scholarly expertise. This is one of the most exciting scholarly prospects of my life. We'll see where it goes.

Fourth, I should probably keep going with all that other productive, adult stuff I should be doing: y'know, like working out and sleeping like a human being and going to the temple. I should probably also read the mission library or something and call my family.

Overall, life is good, and God is great. The funk is more or less over, and the future looks awesome. Yea for literature!